Wielding a Sword

A faerie with no wings

2006-06-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

I am sick
because you are sick
and it has been too long
Like an old addiction
Like a favorite high
pushing on the back of my eyes
alarms in my head
Visions of Brazil
You are dangerous
Like an old addiction
Like a favorite high
and don't think I dont know
I should run screaming
alarms in my head
I can hear u crying
I can feel your ribs
I miss you
I fear you
Like an old addiction
Like a favorite high
and now Im sick
because you are sick

The Short Journey to You

2006-05-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Today I stuck daggers into my eyes
past the membranes and into my mind.
Past the grey matter and into my soul
into the darkness where no light shows.
Like a rocket out of the atmosphere,
past known space, to the places we fear.
Cut straight into hell, to it's icy core.
Through the hand of God and heaven it tore.
Till it came to a stop. On a single hairs tip.

Listen Closely

2006-04-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Chop! Chop!
Chipping away at the
tree of life the rings expose
with the swings and throws
and the blade grows
sharper in
every
dark
evil
b
l
i
n
k
of
the
eyes
one day
this tree will fall
if there is no one around
what if there is no one around?

...I need cancer

2006-03-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

I need someone to rub smooth these jagged edges that define me

I need someone who can lift the curses from my toungue...and my soul

I need someone who can know me

I need someone who can see me

I need a cigarette

I need a woman

A woman who wants to give me a massage

A woman who wants to give me a blow job

A woman that inspires me

A woman that desires me

A woman who reminds me to be nice

A woman who reminds me to be strong

A woman that sees my strength

A woman that makes me stronger

A woman that likes it when I'm cheesy

A woman that's cheesy

A woman I think I don't deserve

A woman who feels the same about me

And above all, I need to get my head examined if I think this woman actually exist

And lastly,

I need a woman like I need cancer

Relevance

2006-02-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

It's not the only way to go
but it's the only way I know
I keep on struggling for the answers
Believeing it's something I can't handle

I want to be free
Like a pheonix from the ashes that are me
I want to see the forest for the trees
Believe there's something to a dream
But could that be?

So I've broken my heart in two
One for me, and one for you
But I've run out of breath so
take this one I have left and
Tell me you love me

(this is an excerpt from a song I wrote over 2 years ago. I only put it up because of it's current relevance in my life)

What's Wrong?

2006-02-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

I am everything that is wrong with the world...

...I am conceit

...I am greed

...I am a thirst for power

... I am rage

...I am love

...I am smoking a cigarette after I brushed my teeth

...I am lust

...I am inspired

...I am too forgiving

...I am not humble

...I am uncaring of your problems

...I am inexplicably attractive

...I am out of shape

...I am unable to to shut the fuck up!

...I am still here

Burning For You

2006-02-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie

This is going to hurt

It's going to hurt alot

We start fires with our passion.
We fuel these flames with our love.
We build pyres of flame for all to see.
And with reckless abandon we spread our flames, for what is Love if not reckless abandon?
We surround ourselves in flames, sealing ourselves in. Keeping them out. Keeping us warm.
Never thinking of a day when we might need to get out.
And the flames grow. Joined by the fires of rage.
Stoked by the spears of doubt. Colored by the fuels of pain.
These walls like a nova, have become a cell.
It's time to go, but there is no way out.
No way but through.

And it's going to hurt.

And it's going to leave scars.

And I can't tell you how to leave. Perhaps quickly, with a desperate leap.
Spitting venom in the hopes that it will douse the flames that will lick your skin.
Maybe slowly. With carefull thought and contemplation. Regardless,

it's gonna hurt.

It's gonna hurt alot.

I know, because I wait.

I wait....not outside....not inside....but in between

Smoldering.

Still burning...

For you.

It's time to go.

And Im not going to lie.

This is going to hurt

a little help

2006-02-17T13:59:00.000-08:00

(ooc)
Im having trouble navigating this vast blog-o-sphere for anything that I like or that might be relative to what I'm doing with my site. If any visitors know of any please send me a link. I'll check it out and maybe link to it on my page

The Absurd

2006-02-17T13:41:00.000-08:00

It wasn't right the 1st time, and it's not getting any better
"To put it simply" is never simple, and I have come to dread
.....all words
.....all smiles
.....all promises
Trust only in pain, for it never lies.
Don't trust the tears or the one who cries
Don't trust the love or the bond that dies
Don't trust the fear
It has left you here, and it's not getting any better
She'll hold on forever if I let her
But it wasn't right the 1st time
Forget the 2nd and move on to the absurd
Write it off as a mistake and take you on your word
But it's not geting any better
She wants to stay, but I won't let her
I want to play and not regret
the words I dread
A night in bed
An aching head
It isn't right
And it's not getting any better.....

Pay the Piper

2006-02-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

There once was a Lord with no taste
Who thought paying me was a waste
When my services came due
He told me to "Go chew"
So I smiled and bit off his face

Always pay your debts, and do it willingly. For you will pay one way or the other. With your money, or your children, or your face. There is no shame in having debts, but there is no quarter for those who do not repay that which is owed. And don't be fooled by the belief that you are bigger and stronger then your debtor. Remember the man with the flute....

And it was nice to have some sport while I await the coming storm.

Chewing on fat.....

2006-02-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

My neck is tight. I can feel my muscles atrophy. This is no time of peace, how can there be so little to do? It seems this is the battle of attrition. I am holed up in my darkness, breathing only this rank air, and chewing on fat. I gain no strength from it, but it keeps me alive. Can you feel it? The tension in the air? The feeling like it's all going to coming crashing down, exploding in a hellfire that will consume us. The dead silence that is my life sounds like screaming. My hands hurt like I've been tearing at the walls that keep me in. Let it begin! I've been sleeping for too long. And this fat has grown rancid. My neck is tight. Can you feel it? Of course not. This is my hell......

Dark Days Ahead

2006-01-29T20:04:00.000-08:00

I lie in waiting, knuckles white on the hilt of my great sword. I can smell it in the air.....their intent.....their hate. They are near. They come to rape and pillage. To impose their will on all. But they know not what waits for them. The cold truth is my blade, and my blade grows restless. The time is nearly here. Many battles I have fought, but until now, my indentity has been a secret. It is time to be known. I am the Knight of Swords. And this is my war......none are safe.

It has begun...

2006-01-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

This post may very well be my only out of charachter post. I am an artist, which means only that my views of this world are unique, and twisted. I see the world as two different people. The person I must be to get along day to day. The one who gets up begrudgingly in the early morning and goes to work at a career he hopes will provide for his loved ones. The one who is worried about what others think, and what others say. The one looking for a way out of the rat race, while simultaneously trying to win the same race. And then there is the Knight. The sword weilding champion who speaks his mind and devours his foes. A poet and a warrior who meets his pain head on with a battle cry. And this is his blog. He will speak often in poetry, for he is a writer of music. He is often angry and full of rage, and rightfully so, for the world is set against him, and his greatest battles are yet to come. These are the stories of his battles......